Febreze is not coolant.

I am in Afghanistan. But you already know this. What you might not know is how spicy hot it gets here. I thought "Northern Afghanistan = mountains = not Africa hot". Stupendous!!!!

It was 111 today.

I also live in a building with nine other women. The building is divided with plywood, leaving about a foot open near the ceiling for air flow. There is also one A/C unit and apparently the girl turns it off at night because she gets "cold".

So that set the stage for this. I am completely naked on my bed, my hands sweating around my iPhone because it is freaking blazing hot. I need relief and I cannot take off my skin.

I grab my only form of possible salvation - a motherfreaking bottle of lavender Febreze. I am now misting myself generously. I also feel like one of those killer whales out of water that has to be misted with water continuously.

I feel dirty and ashamed.

But I smell fabulous.